Discover more from The Holy Loneliness Collective (english)
The last few days have been unusually warm for the time of year. What a relief after all the months we spent shivering and wrapped in blankets in front of the fireplace. We've been out in the garden a lot, but honestly not just to enjoy the mild temperatures. Till has brought a list of ingredients from old Ursel that we are supposed to collect for her to make an ointment for the scar. Among other things, snail slime - and you have no idea how hard it is to find snails in February. The few specimens we could discover under tree bark or among the snowdrops, we collected in a paper bag and, as instructed by old Ursel, sprinkled them with salt to make them release their slime. Jin could not bring herself to stand idly by and watch the agonizing death this would entail. In an unobserved moment, she washed off the salt from the snails and brought them back outside. So the search started all over again.
In the evenings we meet almost every day in the rehearsal room again. But I have to admit that I'm good for nothing at the moment. Whatever we do, it seems pale and lacking in color. I know the reason for it, too. The melody I heard on my trip to the realm of Pandora's Mushroom (that's how we started calling it) outshines everything in my memory. I feel sorry for the others who are full of verve. But I simply can't appreciate all the great things they undoubtedly contribute, because I somehow think I've heard the one, true music that makes everything else seem like a pathetic imitation. But I can't even remember it. When I write it down like this, it seems completely insane to me. And yet, I can't help it. At least we finished recording our new song before my psychedelic adventure. So Hans can continue working on it - and I just don't listen to it anymore to avoid getting completely depressed.
In my despair I talked to Leo about it last night. She had to promise me solemnly beforehand not to touch the green door. But maybe it was still a mistake. Leo is not good at resisting temptation. And if I'm entirely honest, it's even hard for me. Would I find the melody again if I gave in to the urge and descended into Pandora's realm once more? Would I be able to bring it with me this time, into the real world? Leo thinks that's the only way. That I need to hear the melody again to regain my musical enthusiasm. She has also offered to accompany me. Probably not entirely altruistically.
What do you think? Should I open the green door with Leo one more time?