second chance?

had already suspected that there was something in the wind and rightly so as it now turns out | on sunday morning i enter the kitchen not so late by my standards and who's sitting there at the table eating cookies and drinking coffee and apparently having a great time? | right | silke | till apparently let her in and even offered her breakfast right away | why would he do that? | could have at least asked me right? | said he didn't wanna wake me up but you can't just let her in and have a full blown coffee party can you? | after all it's my mother and not his >

of course silke took the opportunity to throw a punch at me right away | emphasized several times how happy she was that i was living with such an obliging young man who still knows how to treat a lady | barf | till went all in and really served it up as he always does and buttered her up big time | at some point i couldn't take it anymore and got out but they just kept sitting together and chatting for two hours or so | without me | can you believe it? >

eventually there was a knock on my door | silke of course | said she wanted to talk to me at least for a bit | and then as i had feared she mentioned christmas | where i was planning to be | i said home | as usual | it's true | at christmas i'm always the only one staying here | who should i go to? | and it's absolutely fine with me | i have no desire to put up a dead tree and deface it with tinsel and straw stars and stuff like that | i'm perfectly fine if i just have some quiet time | she asked if she shouldn't come over | and can you say no to something like that | you can't do that right? | but i didn't say yes either | she said i should think it over | and then finally left >

first i went to the kitchen to tell off till | but now jin and c were there too and in the end they told me off rather than the other way round | why i was so hard and hostile towards silke | if something had happened between us | but where do i start? | nobody will understand anyway | so i might as well save myself the trouble | and then jin said that no matter what had happened everyone deserved a second chance | that was when it got too much for me and i left and went back to my room >

but now that my anger is slowly fading i wonder if the others might have been right after all | am i being too harsh? | i mean silke really did everything to make my childhood a living hell | every time i was fond of something she found a way to ruin it for me | that's just what she does | she takes over everything and then she breaks it | and after all she just disappeared | i swore i'd never have anything to do with her again | and in my head i know that's a damn good idea | but maybe jin is right? | maybe she deserves another chance? | even if everything in me revolts against it >

what do you think? | should i invite silke over for xmas? | or rather not?