rattling and banging

thanks for your messages | it really helped | i calmed down eventually | you're right | i can't lock myself up in my room forever | has to be a way to sort things out | claudia suggested that i talk to jin and that immediately made sense to me | jin is always understanding and good at settling fights >

but how do you do that? | just go to her room and knock? | what if i bump into silke on the way? | or till? | what if jin isn't there? | or if she's busy? | what if I interrupt her with something? | for a whole day i didn't have the guts to go | i was secretly hoping that maybe she would knock on my door and then i could open this time | but nothing | on saturday i got over myself | maybe because i had run out of cookies and had to go out and get something to eat anyway | the way through the house was totally nerve-wracking | i hardly dared to breathe | upstairs i could hear jin playing the piano | wouldn´t be good to interrupt her | she'd be in a bad mood and then it wouldn't be the right time to talk to her | so I turned around went to the kitchen and grabbed a bag of carrots because that was the only thing I could find right away and went straight back to my room | how can one be such a sissy when it comes to things like that? >

then yesterday morning at seven there was a rattling and banging as if the whole house was collapsing | at seven! | i've had maybe two or three hours of sleep | looked cautiously through the curtains and there were some tattooed guys with helmets dragging long iron bars | what the hell? | are they building a scaffolding? | at our house? | i was so dumbfounded that i completely forgot that i wouldn't leave the room | there's a guy in the entrance hall with a clipboard taking notes | the infernal noise is coming from the basement | sounds as if someone is sawing directly into the wall | then i see silke in the kitchen with a guy in a suit and a construction helmet | try to get away as fast as i can | but as i'm about to shut the door someone calls my name | i hesitate for a moment | it's not jin but leo who comes towards me | complete overload | i quickly go into the room and close the door | but she knocks and doesn't even wait for me to open but just comes in | still wearing some kind of pyjamas and her hair all messed up | looks very angry >

thankfully not at me as it turned out | but it took me a while to figure out what she actually wanted | apparently silke got it into her head to renovate our house | improve energy efficiency | even a new heater | heat pump | climate neutral | of course jin likes that | so silke immediately ordered craftsmen | she knows people in the business | and while you're at it why not insulate the outside walls paint everything over and who knows what else | will propably cost millions but she's got the money | leo is really pissed off | finally someone who understands what's going on | didn't think it would be leo of all people | but though it's all totally fucked up i'm almost glad that at least someone is on my side now | jin obviously likes silke's move because of climate and stuff | and c at least hasn't spoken out against it yet >

and till? | no one has seen him in days | apparently he's sitting in his room just like me and won't come out | even locked the door | no one knows why | but i have a feeling | it's always like that with silke | sooner or later people realize that they're just being used and sucked dry | but it's too late by then | she already got what she wanted | now on to the next one | probably jin | we have to do something | just what? >

any suggestions?