On the Edge

Okt 14, 2022

Three days in a row Leo and Keff were in the forest looking for mushrooms. Fortunately without success. On Wednesday they returned with a somewhat similar specimen, which, however, after some research turned out to be a blue roundhead, and after eating it showed no hallucinogenic effects. All our attempts to dissuade them from their plan were of course futile. Even Till's borderline experience with it didn't impress them much.

Till's mood has darkened further. It's not hard to guess why. Keff is not shy when it comes to staking his claims. Whenever Leo talks to one of us, he shuffles over and puts his arm around her waist. He treats Till coolly and dismissively. To me, however, he seems insecure, almost as if he were afraid of me. He knows that I've known Leo longer than he has, and also a part of her to which he has no access. Sometimes something almost like pity mixes with the dislike I feel for him.

Last night he had to leave - had important business to attend to in town. But he promised to come back and bring reinforcements for the mushroom hunt. It was as if the whole house breathed a sigh of relief when he finally left. But then there was an immediate argument because Jin told Leo very honestly and directly her opinion about Keff and the whole mushroom plans. Leo got angry and insisted that it was her business and we shouldn't get involved. That she had already known we would be against it once again. Because we just couldn't stand for her to do her own thing and be happy as well.

Jin looked at me for help, but I didn't jump in fearing that Leo would pack her things again and disappear. So Jin tried it with Till. "Can you please say something too?" But Till just stared at her out of red veined eyes.

Then Leo turned to him as well, as if she noticed him for the first time in days. "What's wrong with you anyway?" she asked, "You look like death!"

I could sense that everything was on the edge at that moment. Like a ball centered on a thin thread, making it impossible to calculate which side it will fall. The cold snap with which she harshly brushed him off, then stormed out to escape the situation, was already palpable in the air. But then her gaze softened and a pinch of compassion stole into the hardness of her features. She walked over to Till, sat down next to him, and the two of them talked for a while, so quietly that Jin and I couldn't hear it over the crackling of the fire. And we were both smart enough to leave it at that.