Hans

May 24, 2022

What can I write about Hans? I don't know much about him. That is among other things

because he doesn't exactly wear his heart on his sleeve. Most of the time he is quiet and just drums his fingers on something. He does this all the time and it drives me crazy. And when he eventually says something, it's so blunt and straightforward that the tactlessness makes you want to smack him in the face. If you manage to suppress that impulse and think about his words, the conclusion is usually that he is actually right. That's admirable, but it doesn't make him any more likeable.

Hans is definitely the nerd in our band. You can't tell by the look of him, but he knows EVERYTHING about music, about sound and acoustics and the complete physics behind it, about microphones, cables, compressors, equalizers and all that stuff. Sometimes he records our rehearsals and when he comes back the next day, he has somehow made something different and usually absolutely brilliant out of the material. We are all totally blown away, but Hans is so hopelessly perfectionistic that he himself is almost always dissatisfied. But generally he already knows what he can do to make it even better. It´s amazing.

In addition to this tinkering, he also lives out his passion for drumming in the band. We don't have a drum set, but that doesn't stop him from banging around on random boxes, pots or bells. The other day he made a beat with a roll of gaffa tape - just pulling the tape off in rhythm and sticking it back on. This creates a smacking ratchet, unusual but surprisingly just right in the context of the song.

His arsenal also includes various drum machines and synthesizers. He orders them online and always sends them back after a month, before the return period ends. So he always has something new, but never for long, so he has to make good use of the limited time.

Honestly - I think Hans could be one of the really big producers, even internationally. Work with the biggest pop stars and make a lot of money. If only he were a little more communicative and approachable.

In this respect, his grumpiness is our great luck. Even if it drives you crazy sometimes...