escalation

now silke lives here in our house | the room next to mine used to be empty | door wouldn't even open | now i can hear her singing along to andreas gabalier through the wall | the only thing that helps is headphones on and breathe calmly | but in reality even that doesn't help | life here has become hell | i can smell her fucking perfume when i just go out into the hallway | the bathroom is full of her fingernails and hair | she's always hanging around in the kitchen and no matter what i eat she always shoots me a line about it | and of course she's at every band rehearsal which is just super awkward >

on monday in rehearsal i was so loaded that i actually got my mouth open and said something about it | and it wasn't worded very diplomatically believe me | everyone stares at me like i'm a zombie | and what does silke do? | she starts crying | the old cunt | starts telling all kinds of stories about how much of a psychological burden my hostility is on her | that she only wants to help us and how mean I am putting her down like this | I almost had to throw up | but with jin and c of course this kind of thing works - harmonyloving as they are | and silke knows that very well the old snake | bet she planned it exactly like that >

so i'm the villain now | after that i was yelling around a bit and that probably didn't make it any better | it's been two days now and i haven't thought about anything else the whole time | there have been a few knocks on my door but i can't talk to anyone about it now | would just freak out again | honestly i think there are only two possibilities | either silke leaves or i do | because the two of us together under one roof - that's just not working out | or at least i can't handle it | but i'm really scared to say that out loud | because the others would have to decide between the two of us and after the last rehearsal it's anything but clear how that would end | maybe i'd have to leave | the house and also the band | of course i don't want that | but maybe there's no other way >

what do you think? | should i take the risk and bear the consequences? | or try to keep putting up with it somehow | i just don't know what's best | help me