Discover more from The Holy Loneliness Collective (english)
July 16, 2022
I haven't been sleeping well lately. Always the same dream. I go down to the basement, open the door to the rehearsal room. It's dark and musty, and all the instruments are lying on a pile in the corner. Leo is there too, and her hair is on fire. It's blazing fiercly and the brightness hurts my eyes. She doesn't seem to notice. I want to scream, want to warn her. But there's something in my mouth, a big hairy lump that won't let any words pass. I panic, try to spit the disgusting thing out, but the more desperately I fight, the bigger it gets, much too big to fit out of my mouth. Just before I choke on it I wake up, retching, gasping and soaking wet.
After that I understandably don't feel like going back to sleep. Last night I got up and went down to the kitchen. I made myself some tea, sat down on the sofa in the fireplace room and somehow tried to calm my racing heart. Didn't really work. When I wanted to go back upstairs, I heard booming bass and a strange whirring coming from the hallway leading to Hans' and Till's rooms. Beeing curious, I followed the sounds. The door to Hans' room was open and softly pulsing light fell out into the hallway. Hans was probably still tinkering. While I was there, I wanted to say hello to him. See if maybe our shared insomnia could bridge the gap that otherwise exists between us.
Hans sat with his back to me in front of the bright screen, rocking slightly to the beat. I was about to make my presence known when I noticed something strange. Was that really Hans sitting there? Wasn't that way too much hair on his head and.... ears? Two pointed, furry ears, like those of a cat or a lynx? I was so baffled that I turned around on the spot and quickly walked away.
Today, the nightly events seem quite improbable to me. Was the incident in Hans' room also just a dream? Or did my overtired and agitated mind play a trick on me? Does Hans have a new, rather unusual cap? Today he is nowhere to be seen. Propably sleeping. I have to stop pondering. Most likely there's a simple explanation. But a queasy feeling remains.